I found my card reader!

So I found this little beauty.

I've been really inspired by some beautiful blogs lately. And I realized that I need to be having way more fun writing and snapping photos in my daily life. So I press onward! Forgetting the mistakes and short comings of the past, pressing forward to the exciting things of the future :)

Life can feel so heavy sometimes. Lately I feel like I've been caught in this whirlwind of distractions.. Only looking at my own lists and agendas that I've stopped talking to the Lord. But then I'm so ready to complain about how I feel like He's not giving me the attention or love that He's promised. So I feel ignored and let myself feel hurt even though I know I've been ignoring Him. 

In the midst of all these feelings the Lord put on my heart to start a "sixty day challenge." He didn't give me a formula for the challenge. There's no reading plan or specific prayer time. I've tried to set up things like that before in the past and I always wind up feeling like a failure when I can't stick to it. So for the next sixty days I just want to be more aware of God's presence. Whether I ask Him where I left my car keys or just rant about work, I just want to be including Him in my day.

Tomorrow will be our first day (Stan's excited to take on the challenge with me). I'm interested in seeing where it goes and how we'll feel at the end of sixty days.. like I said I've never really stuck with any spiritual routine that long :P I hope to learn more about the Father's heart in these next two months.. to feel more fulfilled and loved than I ever have before.

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When you come looking for me, you'll find me. Yes, when you get serious about finding me and want it more than anything else, I'll make sure you won't be disappointed.
- Jeremiah 29:13 MSG

Then you will seek Me, inquire for, and require Me [as a vital necessity] and find Me when you search for Me with all your heart. 

- Jeremiah 29:13 AMP

Come close to God and He will come close to you.
- James 4:8

desires and failures

It's easy to feel caught up in the troubles and to-dos of the day. I'm constantly only seeing my life as the week I'm living out. However this morning I took a moment for some self reflection while wondering if I should get out of bed and cease my facebook stalking. Browsing through a few high school buddies pages got me thinking about the expectations I had for myself when I was fifteen. What did I really want to do with my life? What were my goals and my desires? Hmmmm... definitely to have my very own boyfriend, that my breasts would magically get bigger and the never ending hope that I would wake up one morning with no acne! But beyond the typical teenage girl ambitions I don't remember ever having a clear idea of what I wanted to be or what I needed to accomplish. I remember small moments of satisfaction.. feeling fulfilled when I was creating.. looking forward to serving.. enjoying spending one on one time with children.. When it came to deciding what I "wanted to do with the rest of my life" I simply built off those things. I never would have dreamed that I'd end up where I am now. God has such a sneaky way of transitioning us into unexpected places!

The last few years have been.. crazy! Hmm I say crazy because I think it captures the idea of high highs and low lows. I have never been happier and I have never been more frustrated. I've been learning about myself, who I am as me, who I am as a wife, who I will be as a mother. I've been learning about my health/body, that my body hates gluten, that I need to work out, that I need more sleep.. O_O And maybe most importantly I've been learning how to deal with failure and forgive myself. It's so easy to see my short comings over and over again and feel completely defeated. But I'm beginning to understand failure and struggle push me to learn and make different decisions. I don't need to be afraid of messing up. I don't need to be angry at myself. I need to give myself the same patience I would give a friend. I am not perfect but I am always learning. And I am realizing that's enough.

Hiiii there old pal. I'm sorry I have been gone so long. Life has been very full; surprise parties, moving, family visits, unpacking/organizing, job hunting.. etc etc. But I'm happy to announce that I will be much more present from here on out. There are lots of things I'd like to share with you, things I've been doing and things I've been thinking about but for now I just have a few simple thoughts I wanted to post. As I was updating my art blog with the latest wedding piece (you should go sneak a peek:)  I suddenly found myself discussing marriage to.. myself? and decided to drop those thoughts here instead:

Marriage is so.. interesting. I feel like I've grown a lot in my understanding, ideas, and expectations of what marriage is. I smile thinking back to my own wedding day knowing the innocent, naive ideas I had of what it would mean to be a married women. But I like that that's where I was and that this is where I am now. I still want to approach marriage (and love) with that same innocence but I'm happy to have gained greater knowledge of it as well. A marriage union has such amazing and limitless potential. I want to be tapping into that. I sense some life lessons being learned very soon.. Stay tuned friends..

Good morningg

Life has been busy busy busy getting ready for our move. Our place is a wreck and I'm ready to get out of it all! Work was really busy for Stan but fortunately has slowed down. I have quite a few things to do today but have been camping out on craigslist looking furniture O_O I can't get enough of it!

While shifting everything into boxes I ran across a bunch of CDs from college and was reminded of this lovely band Bellarive. I've spent the morning listing to their older EP and the last 20 minutes listing to their more recent song over and over. I'm trying to get into the habit of playing worship music regularly. Recently I've been hooked on the radio but sticking on just a few worship songs in the morning changes the whole feel of my day. Check out Bellarive, they're music has brought me a lot of peace and encouragement.

I've been thinking a lot about family recently. The idea of growing a baby inside of me sounds.. terribly strange and scary at times but I know it's something we've been called to do. We've been called to have a family. Presently it's just us two but I want us to be working towards creating/living in the atmosphere we want our children to grow up in. One of the most important things to me is to have a very honest, open, transparent home. I also want us to be creative together and eat lots of veggies. I want regular family dinners and weekly prayer nights. I want game night weekends and random ice cream runs.

The Lord's been talking to me about how much power is present when a family is functioning properly. Families are so important because they've been designed to change the world.

I stumbled across an old email from a friend that reminded me of this beautiful decal from UrbanWalls. I very much so want this in our home :)

my poolside wish list

The weather has been so amazing here and I am thankful for every minute of it! I love summer because it holds so many memories. My family would always head down to Florida for a few weeks in the summer to enjoy the gulf coast and white sand. A bunch of my family would rent out beach houses and we'd have spaghetti dinners and late night swims at the pool. We'd celebrate all the July birthdays (me, my brother and my sister) and watch the Olympics while eating Klondike bars. It was always lots of fun :)

Summer in the east bay is a lot different (colder and rainier) but so far it's been good to us and I'm praying it stays that way! I mentioned before that we are moving into a new place this summer and one of the exciting features is the little community pool. I'm not into laying out for a tan (I'm pretty pale and try very hard to protect my little white self when outside) but I want to start reading by the pool and going for dips while the weathers nice. So naturally I've been seeking out some poolside necessities :)

FredFlare, $12

My mom would always have these kind of brown sunglasses with the leopardy? texture,

 I've been hoping to find a good pair. I find myself gravitating towards lots of things that remind me of my family recently. 

These pretty ones are from Forever21, less than $6. I love Forever21!

I've been pretty stuck on my heart sunglasses lately (I just love the smiles I get when I wear them :) but there's a pair I found a few weeks ago that I can't stop thinking about! The weird thing is, I don't totally remember what that wonderful pair of sunglasses look like (.. I'm weird) but I keep thinking about them. That must mean I like them... right?

Macy's, $106

My swimsuit drawer generally consists of just a few suits but this week 

I've been contemplating expanding my swimming horizons. 

I especially love this pretty one piece from Macy's.. I might have to go find it at the mall this weekend. 

Macy's, $88

Target, $25

And of course you need a good cover up/tee and a solid bag when planning for pool + beach visits. 

I use to love my terry-cloth-hoodie-cover up when I was little.. I'll have to keep looking for one of those :) 

Feather 4 Arrow on ScoutMob, $25

My mom always has really bright big beach bags and currently I have none! 

I'm in love with the yellow + blue combination but I'm wondering if I should try to make my own soon. 

jayciMay on Etsy, $40

FredFlare, $26

I hope the week's been going smoothly for everyone out there. 

I have a feel this is going to be a really wonderful summer.