Hiiii there old pal. I'm sorry I have been gone so long. Life has been very full; surprise parties, moving, family visits, unpacking/organizing, job hunting.. etc etc. But I'm happy to announce that I will be much more present from here on out. There are lots of things I'd like to share with you, things I've been doing and things I've been thinking about but for now I just have a few simple thoughts I wanted to post. As I was updating my art blog with the latest wedding piece (you should go sneak a peek:)  I suddenly found myself discussing marriage to.. myself? and decided to drop those thoughts here instead:

Marriage is so.. interesting. I feel like I've grown a lot in my understanding, ideas, and expectations of what marriage is. I smile thinking back to my own wedding day knowing the innocent, naive ideas I had of what it would mean to be a married women. But I like that that's where I was and that this is where I am now. I still want to approach marriage (and love) with that same innocence but I'm happy to have gained greater knowledge of it as well. A marriage union has such amazing and limitless potential. I want to be tapping into that. I sense some life lessons being learned very soon.. Stay tuned friends..

Good morningg

Life has been busy busy busy getting ready for our move. Our place is a wreck and I'm ready to get out of it all! Work was really busy for Stan but fortunately has slowed down. I have quite a few things to do today but have been camping out on craigslist looking furniture O_O I can't get enough of it!

While shifting everything into boxes I ran across a bunch of CDs from college and was reminded of this lovely band Bellarive. I've spent the morning listing to their older EP and the last 20 minutes listing to their more recent song over and over. I'm trying to get into the habit of playing worship music regularly. Recently I've been hooked on the radio but sticking on just a few worship songs in the morning changes the whole feel of my day. Check out Bellarive, they're music has brought me a lot of peace and encouragement.

I've been thinking a lot about family recently. The idea of growing a baby inside of me sounds.. terribly strange and scary at times but I know it's something we've been called to do. We've been called to have a family. Presently it's just us two but I want us to be working towards creating/living in the atmosphere we want our children to grow up in. One of the most important things to me is to have a very honest, open, transparent home. I also want us to be creative together and eat lots of veggies. I want regular family dinners and weekly prayer nights. I want game night weekends and random ice cream runs.

The Lord's been talking to me about how much power is present when a family is functioning properly. Families are so important because they've been designed to change the world.

I stumbled across an old email from a friend that reminded me of this beautiful decal from UrbanWalls. I very much so want this in our home :)

my poolside wish list

The weather has been so amazing here and I am thankful for every minute of it! I love summer because it holds so many memories. My family would always head down to Florida for a few weeks in the summer to enjoy the gulf coast and white sand. A bunch of my family would rent out beach houses and we'd have spaghetti dinners and late night swims at the pool. We'd celebrate all the July birthdays (me, my brother and my sister) and watch the Olympics while eating Klondike bars. It was always lots of fun :)

Summer in the east bay is a lot different (colder and rainier) but so far it's been good to us and I'm praying it stays that way! I mentioned before that we are moving into a new place this summer and one of the exciting features is the little community pool. I'm not into laying out for a tan (I'm pretty pale and try very hard to protect my little white self when outside) but I want to start reading by the pool and going for dips while the weathers nice. So naturally I've been seeking out some poolside necessities :)

FredFlare, $12

My mom would always have these kind of brown sunglasses with the leopardy? texture,

 I've been hoping to find a good pair. I find myself gravitating towards lots of things that remind me of my family recently. 

These pretty ones are from Forever21, less than $6. I love Forever21!

I've been pretty stuck on my heart sunglasses lately (I just love the smiles I get when I wear them :) but there's a pair I found a few weeks ago that I can't stop thinking about! The weird thing is, I don't totally remember what that wonderful pair of sunglasses look like (.. I'm weird) but I keep thinking about them. That must mean I like them... right?

Macy's, $106

My swimsuit drawer generally consists of just a few suits but this week 

I've been contemplating expanding my swimming horizons. 

I especially love this pretty one piece from Macy's.. I might have to go find it at the mall this weekend. 

Macy's, $88

Target, $25

And of course you need a good cover up/tee and a solid bag when planning for pool + beach visits. 

I use to love my terry-cloth-hoodie-cover up when I was little.. I'll have to keep looking for one of those :) 

Feather 4 Arrow on ScoutMob, $25

My mom always has really bright big beach bags and currently I have none! 

I'm in love with the yellow + blue combination but I'm wondering if I should try to make my own soon. 

jayciMay on Etsy, $40

FredFlare, $26

I hope the week's been going smoothly for everyone out there. 

I have a feel this is going to be a really wonderful summer.

I love this face.

I could become a crazy cat lady so easily. I feel it in my bones.

life in pictures

I've been battling a bit of a cold/allergies this last week. Lots of soups, resting, cat cuddling and television finales.

Saturday night I sat down and watched the first feature film Stan was apart of making. I couldn't be more proud of him. Stanley is constantly inspiring me through his work and self discipline. He's always willing to listen, learn, and make changes. I can't believe I have such an amazing leader and best friend to spend every day with.

I know great things await this man and I'm so thankful that I get to be apart of them.

The last few weeks have been busy busy! We've been off to Florida for a wedding and were able to spend lots of wonderful time with college friends. Since being back we've been hosting family and traveling around the city. 

I'm looking forward to having some alone time soon, but it'll be a busy month packing up to move into a bigger place across town :) 

I know it's going to be different but with every change in life there's growth, so I'm excited!

I want to be making changes especially as we transition into this new place.

I want to relax more. Recently I've allowed myself to get stressed or worried over all sorts of things. And I'm tired of it. Sunday my eyes were opened to the truth that whatever you are willing to tolerate is what will shape your life. I'm not going to tolerate sudden fear or anxiety anymore. It will not shape my life.

I want to live loved. I want to wake up every morning fearless because I understand how much the Lord loves me. I want to operate in that love throughout the day. When I'm interacting with people, when I'm working, when I'm driving. When I'm dancing while I'm driving. To consistently be acting in the love that I've been given.

These are my new goals.

As I write that statement I'm reminded of my failures. Of all the times I've done this before, said I would change but slid back into my old habits. But we can't allow our past to keep us from moving forward. I'm not perfect. I can tell you right now I will fall short in accomplishing these few things. But I'm hungry for more. If these few things can move me into more, I'm going to start changing my thinking.

Never stop looking for ways to grow. Never let past failure keep you from moving forward.